Mondays List- Humility

We all have our little secrets. There are some things at which I am incredibly terrible. What dumbfounds me is how "simple" these things are to other people.

1. Running

Seriously, if you see me running, you better run also. Something terrible must be going down. I feel like Phoebe on friends when I run. Also, it makes my teeth hurt. I thought that was odd until a lady at Starbucks said the same thing.

2. Doing math in my head
If you want to see an exercise in futility, ask me to do any calculation above the ones in my head. It blows my mind when the people I work with have the answer to 82 x 21 before I have gotten past 1 x 2 is...
Once, someone told me that this inability is akin to being a math illiterate adult. I wanted to argue the point, but I am pretty sure that other people don't view grocery shopping as a lottery system at the checkout. Thank goodness for price checkers at Macy's, or I'd never figure out what the $79 sweater costs at 60% off plus an additional 40% with a 15% bonus pass.

3. Pancakes
I cannot make a pancake to save my dear life. I have never made a golden, perfect pancake. Mine tend to look like wounded warriors. If they are golden and beautiful, they are raw on the inside, if they are cooked, they look like a Target bullseye.

4. Grace
I am the clumsiest being on earth. I don't have an ounce of grace in my body. If you ask my mom, it has been that way from birth. I dream of being one of those women that float across the room with dignity and grace, but I tend to look like a  mix of a drunk elephant and a newborn deer. My youngest is the opposite. Thank goodness. 


5. Makeup
I have no idea what I am doing. I've gotten lessons at the counter, looked at tutorial after tutorial, and read the inserts. I have one look that I can pull off, which is pretty much vampire. I cannot put together the soft, glowy look, or the barely-there look. Going to the grocery store? Vampire. Wedding? Vampire. A casual BBQ? Vampire.

~Venetia